chances of bad news at 20 week scan mumsnet chances of bad news at 20 week scan mumsnet

I tried to keep positive. So instead, I was advised to go home and let nature take its course. This was a ray of hope for us. The sonographer then passes a hand-held probe over your skin to examine the babys body. There is always a chance that a baby may be born with a health issue that scans could not have identified. This scan takes place between 18 weeks and 20 weeks 6 days of pregnancy and is commonly called the 20-week scan. I think they perhaps could have done, if they had looked a bit closely. We were bound to each other because of the blood that was on both our hands. We would terminate the pregnancy. Then I picked myself up. We bought little outfits, teddies, and researched all the vitamins and foods that I could eat. chances of bad news at 20 week scan mumsnet. I felt I needed proof of what was wrong before I take such a huge decision and that I couldn't do it based on what someone had written on, on the paper. We've joined the grown-ups and we both feel very different. So it was just, we were coming up to the 20-week scan and I was just getting more relaxed, just actually starting to look at maybe baby catalogues or, you know, going down the baby aisle at the shops, which I'd always avoided. But with time although we will never forget, I know we will be ok again. The baby kicked, blissfully unaware of what I had done. I was becoming numb to the whole process. It felt so wrong. We scattered his ashes over a bunch of snowdrops. I would be put to sleep, and when I woke up I wouldn't be pregnant any more. And at that point I don't think we, I don't think we realised that there might have to be a decision, because we'd talked about it with, with Down's and the other possible problems, but at this point it was, well okay what can be done to fix the problem - because yes the heart's not developing properly but there must be something we can do. You could see her face, and the major aspect that was, that was the indication of what was wrong was the thickening at the back of the neck in this instance, which, when you're looking at a fetus is, you know, sort of half a centimetre thicker or not is completely immaterial to me, and would look like a completely normal neck, but from the point of view of the consultant was severely abnormal. Thinking back, I don't know how we left without him. You've had your, you know, you've had your triple test and everything was fine. To view this licence, visit nationalarchives.gov.uk/doc/open-government-licence/version/3 or write to the Information Policy Team, The National Archives, Kew, London TW9 4DU, or email: [email protected]. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). I wanted to let nature take its course. Perhaps because we are alone in this, it has brought my partner and me very close. Within two days I was waiting in my local EPU unit for further tests. How common is it for 2nd baby to come early..? Smiling at myself and picturing me and Sam becoming parents. So at 20 weeks I went for my scan with my husband, with my daughter, to get our photographs. 'Yes, if that's okay with you,' kind of thing, like you do. Because we knew that that wasn't normal, that wasn't what we'd experienced before, it wasn't just the, 'There's the arm, there's the leg, oh look the baby's moving'. Some of the conditions that can be seen on the scan will mean the baby may need treatment or surgery after it is born, for example cleft lip. By my own hand, I had to end the pregnancy. It went from bad, to worse, to worse, to dire, then to better. If you are not sure, you can contact them and ask. They sort of drew some diagrams, and they said, 'But we need to refer you to a specialist to confirm the diagnosis'. My partner's face was lit up, seeing the baby for the first time. It would have been nice to see someone straight away because I was in such shock. We talked all night and thanked God for crap television. Mm-hm. And I felt like a murderer. My belly was growing and I was feeling great. We had so much power, we could decide that this little thing should die. We need to have your opinion'. I want to enjoy my son again, without any reservations. And shortly after that, that scan we'd finished and the consultant leant back and said, 'I'm afraid we have some problems here'. Sometimes specialist scans such as 3D scans, or MRI scans, are used to examine the baby in greater detail. Anyway we went in for the meeting with the consultant on this particular time, and we'd got to, I was 30 weeks pregnant by then. This publication is licensed under the terms of the Open Government Licence v3.0 except where otherwise stated. The consultant showed us the letter with our result on and, yes, there were the words "Down's syndrome". I couldn't bring myself to push. Some people we talked to had not had a 18-20-week scan, either because their babies' abnormalities had been detected by earlier . We had the 20 week scan yesterday and got some devastating news. I ran into the bedroom to tell Sam, who was ecstatic. By this time, we were tired. Sometimes it is difficult to get good views of a baby. Can you remember that minute. Again the legs were quite twisted, they said that the baby's sternum was very short - things weren't in proportion you know - the head was quite large, the neck was very thick, there wasn't really like a neck as such it was just things were kind of - there were lots of things that obviously the consultant could see that we weren't aware of. To help us improve GOV.UK, wed like to know more about your visit today. I couldn't work out what was taking so long and put it down to the doctor being young and inexperienced. This image shows a baby's face and hands at 20 weeks, and gives you an idea of what you'll be able to see at this scan. The clinic advised a follow up scan the week after, to check on progress and to see what to do next. The chances that anything bad will be discovered are v v small. or sort of light chat that we'd, we'd experienced before with previous scans. . Which is what I'd seen. And it was just a bit of a shock because it's not really what you want to hear - you don't really expect that. The baby was very, very small. They would then re-test me in two days time. Being deeply unhappy and kind to others at the same time is nigh on impossible. Sam followed and I broke down. I give obsessively to charity, especially those linked to sick children. You can change your cookie settings at any time. And I assumed my partner would feel the same. And nothing prepares you at all. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here), tbh, they never give you good news at scans. The sonographer told me to take the notes, and the scan photos with me so they could review them also. Can't seem to find info on the Internet. 1. We were denying him his life. Thanks girls, it's amazing how protected our babies are in there isn't it?! But on, in the middle of March, 10th March it was, we had a 20 week scan. Some parents wondered if it was possible to have the same scan done at 16 weeks rather than 20 weeks. x. Enough for two weeks after he had been cremated. You know there's always that bit on the bottom of the thing, 'These are diagnostics, do not bring other children,' - blah, blah, blah.. it's not, you know, it's not a family outing kind of thing, but it feels like it. So he was about two weeks smaller than what he should have been. 13/12/2020 20:45. Trying to carry on as normal, working and putting on a brave face. During the examination, sonographers need to keep the screen in a position that gives them a good view of your baby. Thick milky discharge at 14 weeks.tmi pic attached. But the consultant had found more spots on the heart and the measurements were the same. And it all seemed so near at hand, you know, 31, 30 weeks, you feel like you're nearly, you're on the home stretch. Severe chromosomal conditions such as Edwards' syndrome are now often picked up in the first trimester antenatal screening but itwill usually be more obviousat the 18- 20 week scan, though usually a firm diagnosis will not be made until one or two specialists have weighed up all available evidence about the baby - which usually means that another expert needs to scan the baby again, or until the woman has had an amniocentesis. It was all going wrong and I wanted to get as far away from the hospital as possible. It was interesting - well it was fantastic to see this fetus and to see this child that was yours that was horribly ill - but you didn't really get much opportunity to see that because the consultant was more about measurements and all sorts of blood flow and various other screens coming up. (See. The same anxious wait for a little, pathetic cry. We were told to go to the hospital immediately. No, we really didn't, with hindsight we probably should have, but not at all, it never occurred to us to be worried about it. No sort of questions about, 'Do you want to know whether it's a boy or a girl?' I think I was about 20 weeks cos they, the hospital I think did the 12 and the 20, that was their standard thing and, yeah, so I got the 20 weeks one. What happens at the second midwife appointment? Registered office: Nicholas House, 3 Laurence Pountney Hill, London, EC4R 0BB. And this baby sort of floated, and occasionally there was a slight movement, but it was very you could almost see that he was really poorly just from looking at the screen. This short video explains screening for 11 physical conditions in pregnancy. And so this one can't tell you anything, it's pictures, you're going, you're going to see your baby, you're going to get pictures. In order for the sonographer to get good images of your baby, the scan is carried out in a dimly lit room. Not a good sign in a hospital consulting room. My partner tried to remain calm, and at my request rang my mum. We had to discuss what we wanted to do with the little body after delivery. I was experiencing some light bleeding for the past few days. The doctor told me he was 98% sure this was a failing twin pregnancy. Several parents said they would have preferred being told something, even it was vague. The consultant explained that this was just very bad luck and not, as far as they knew, genetic. No one else ever met the object of my grief. That they could have spotted something, or not? And I know I can't hurry up the process of grieving. And, so they sent me home at that stage because they said the specialist wasn't available till the following day, which was awful. And you could see, where you should have a picture of 4 chambers, you could really see 2. And as, and as soon as I saw the pictures of the scan, having had two normal pregnancies, even I could see that there was a marked contrast between this pregnancy and the pictures that I'd had previously. So we went back the day after Boxing Day, the 27th, and the consultant greeted us, which made my alarm bells go, and she started scanning us and I think her lines were, 'What concerns me about this baby is that they've got a diaphragmatic hernia, which has meant that part of the stomach of the baby was in its chest cavity.'. The only thing you're thinking now is the birth, and what if something goes wrong in the birth? Is it the same scan or is it the same equipment? It is as though our pain means we've earned the right to be taken more seriously. In this information, the word we refers to the NHS service that provides screening. He started to scan me with a cold expression, then told me, 'it didn't look good' and that 'my womb looked raggedy'. The gel makes sure there is good contact between the probe and your skin. But it was very evident. My partner was away working and was waiting to hear whether he was having a son or daughter. I know its hard- but i really wouldnt worry about it too much as the worry will stress you and your body out. After half an hour of lying on the bed, I was starting to get nervous, but was excited to find out that the baby would be a boy and that I could see his little heart beating strongly. The appointment usually takes around 30 minutes. In some cases concerns in utero fix themselves sometimes needs treatment. Only this time, no cry came. Forcing my hand to my mouth to take the tablet was probably the hardest thing I have ever done. These were said to be soft markers fo a range of trisomies, 2 of which were incompatible with life. She endured many agonising rounds of scans and tests, and unfortunately met with some unhelpful attitudes from some healthcare professionals. I wrote a few things down last night when we were trying to go over things, just to remind myself. 17/12/2020 17:13. And you know, we were laughing and joking. So she said, 'Come back on Monday. Living in this world must be unbearable for them. We felt as if we were in limbo. And, it does not occur to you in the slightest. Good luck has not come easily over the past few years. Instinctively, did it feel right? factor is very strong. Most hospitals do not allow children to attend scans as childcare is not usually available. Seated in the antenatal clinic with lots of expectant mothers with baby bumps. I know it is still early days. Dont worry we wont send you spam or share your email address with anyone. Within it are a number of recommendations for the communication of findings from ultrasounds. Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommys Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. Unfortunately I was not met with a compassionate sonographer. I had no idea if we were doing the "right" thing. If this happens, you will be offered one further scan by 23 weeks of pregnancy. And I am slowly coming to terms with what has happened. See more information about the 20-week ultrasound scan. Spina bifida can usually be seen clearly on a scan and of those babies who have this condition, around 9 out of 10 (90%) will be detected. I managed to tell my mum, who said she would come with us to the hospital. 2022. I felt empty, scared, guilty and incredibly heartbroken. Or, at the very least, heart problems. We thought it would all be over very quickly but, in fact, it was another 11 hours before the baby was delivered. So I was, they couldn't actually finish the scan then, the baby was moving around too much, so they couldn't scan the heart and the stomach. After that I got, I, it was about in, in 19-, hang on a minute, 2001 I got pregnant again, slightly unexpectedly. You will then be asked to raise your top to your chest and lower your skirt or trousers to your hips. If you are offered further tests, you will be given more information about them so that you can decide whether or not you want to have them. The doctor or midwife looking after you will let you know before you come. I broke down and started hitting my disgusting body that had done this. . It took 20 minutes to push him out. I think what everyone is saying is that most likely outcome is that there are no problems at all. The baby was kicking so hard that I began to believe him. Instead, I had to raise a glass of water to my mouth, take a swig and swallow the tablet. Some things can be seen more clearly than others. You do not have to have the scan. And I remember, the first thing I remember when something might be wrong, was I saw, I finally, we finally saw an image of the skull on the screen, and there appeared to be a sort of black hole shape in the middle. Do you have any thoughts about that? I didn't want to be convincing him to agree with me. And they, sort of two of them were looking at the scan machine and then they sort of switched everything off and said, 'Oh, I think we have, might have a problem'. Like many things, the theory is very different from the reality. What are the chances of bad news at the 20 week scan | Mumsnet I didn't have a clue. Could she possibly have something that's not been detected? My partner went out with him, wanting to see him. unfortunately the 20 week anomaly scan can pick up serious issues, hearing heart beats at midwife appointment doesn't let us know what's going on inside the body in detail. It was a bit worrying but on the plus side I got an extra couple of scans and an extra couple of pictures. Eventually she got the measurements she wanted. Find more information and details of support groups on NHS.UK. And the next day we went back to the hospital and we had another scan with a specialist, and he confirmed it was a condition called holoprosencephaly, which I'd never heard of any of these words before, they were just such long words. We, I was with my mum, and they scanned and found choroid plexus cysts on the brain, which is just a mark, it's a marker on the brain, it's a, what they call a 'soft marker'. And it was then because we were at 20 weeks by this point, there was only fairly short window to actually, to get some more tests done, find out what the problems were, and then make any decisions that might have to be made. The 18-20 week antenatal scan and further tests. I tried to show him the notes and the photos. My partner watched the baby come out, and for a split second I saw a look of joy on his face. And I'm glad I did and she's glad she didn't. It is also sometimes referred to as the mid-pregnancy scan . He started to scan me with a cold expression, then told me, "it didn't look good" and that "my womb looked raggedy". So we hid in our house. I felt sad, but not the complete devastation of the last scan as they had seen a change of some sort. At which point they turned round and said, 'Well, there is something very seriously wrong with the baby, we don't know exactly what, but you do need to have a more in-depth scan at your regional hospital to find out the detail'. For example, the babys brain, kidneys, internal organs or bones may not have developed properly. 20 week scans look for 11 different anomalies as a rule, however, indicators (markers) are not terribly reliable and in all the literature I found, the targets set for stonographers look like they only pick up around 50% or less of these variants. And, faced with feeling sorry for myself or feeling sorry for my child, I know which I'd choose. Why me and not you, you bastard? We left for home feeling completely numb. And that was a terrible moment to be sort of hanging on, waiting. The same sense of expectation. We just couldn't use the words. I wasn't ready to make a decision straight away, and I was told I could call them in the morning. The doctor gave her consent, and I took the four little tablets. So I sort of went home quite, fairly kind of happy and I, at, at this point I hadn't any idea things could go wrong anyway. Emma was 20 weeks' pregnant when a routine scan revealed that the baby she was expecting had Down's syndrome and heart problems. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). I wasn't unduly worried at all. It was positive, and I felt elated. Next most likely is that baby doesn't co-operate and they can't see some parts of anatomy and call you back 2 weeks later just because they couldn't see (i had this but because twin pregnancy I was due to be scanned 2 weeks later anyway). I used to think the feeling of your baby kicking inside you and the sight of a foot poking against your skin were the most fantastic things in the world. I was becoming numb to the whole process. I can feel my child kick, it responds when he shouts at football - I mean literally, this baby used to dance around whenever he'd like scream at a goal - and there cannot be anything wrong with this child because it's part of us already. And thank God I did. Several women had taken young children with them to the 20-week scan because they expected to see 'nice pictures of the baby'. And that was extraordinary to see the detail that that could offer. When I think about how long it took them to deliberate ultimately, maybe not, but it just felt like a bit of a fast food situation, didn't it? We also use cookies set by other sites to help us deliver content from their services. He was sure the consultant on Monday would see that the measurements were completely normal and that there was nothing to worry about. The hardest thing I have ever done. I travelled to work that day feeling amazing. You may like someone to come with you to the scan appointment. I went away and came back, and she couldn't get a good picture. At first, I still had to deal with the physical implications of having given birth. I know it sounds odd that you want to hear that it's wrong, but you, you know it's wrong, and you, you want to be reassured either that it's okay or is there something seriously wrong. For women who have been given distressing news about their baby during the scan, there should be a health professional available to provide immediate support. Some stories I hear are amazing! Just wonder whether anyone had ever been told? Baby loss support Still, the consultant thought things would be OK. And I couldn't escape the feeling that I was being selfish. I didn't want to go through anymore scans. Baby loss stories By 7pm, I still hadn't delivered the baby. Not surprisingly, people aren't quite sure how to deal with me. At that point, I got very not upset but quite sort of strongly severe sort of with the people at the hospital saying, 'Look, you know, that's 24 hours, possibly a 48 hours' wait - that's not something that's tenable. Sometimes doctors will wait to give the baby more time to develop and carry out repeat scans - this had confused several parents we talked to who had gone for repeat scans not knowing that the baby might have a problem. She didn't want to see the baby. Next most likely (but actually in the minority) they identify something which whilst not 100% healthy is treatable. Another sick joke. Others, including those who had been given leaflets to read about the scan beforehand as well as some who were health professionals, said that they had been nave about the 20-week scan. All the time, the baby was kicking and I felt like a murderer waiting to strike her victim. My mum arrived early to look after our son, and my partner and I got a cab to the hospital. I had to wait yet another sleepless night. I was sat on the sofa working, my son was at nursery and my partner was in the bath. He felt doing more blood tests would only cause me more discomfort and false hope. Many parents were shocked by findings from the 20-week and later scans. I am a darker, harder version of myself. When I see a child with Down's syndrome, I have a tremendous need to explain myself and apologise a million times over. And as soon as she said those words, both of us were like, 'Well what's wrong?'. Never being able to look after himself. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. And she sort of got up and walked out of the room and called someone in. There was cause for concern. Sam reassured me, but the guilt had hit me along with the feeling that our world was falling apart. Again, we weren't understood. And attribute some blame to them. Immediately I knew what decision we should take. I was booked back in to discuss management options, if nothing had happened. Thankfully I was met by an amazing sonographer, she was compassionate and understanding. So even if anomolies are found, they don't always mean a problem.. x. I had issues at the 20 weeks scan with both of mine. So carried on with the plans, and, you know, planning for the, another baby to come along and then we went for a 20- week scan which is obviously the big one and very exciting, seeing all the arms and legs and once again everything was going fine, 'Look here's the baby, here's the length of baby'. And it turned out the baby's heart wasn't forming properly, the chambers weren't forming properly. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. . Saturday came. We understand the real meaning of "shit happens". We'd just spent some time away on a, on a summer holiday and come back expecting to have this scan and be told, 'All fine. I can't remember the exact words but she said, 'There might be some fatal problems with your baby'. We had the baby cremated. 26/09/2019 22:46. It's, I mean you can't tell from these scans what you're looking at really, but I remember thinking, 'it just doesn't look quite right' or something, but I didn't give it much thought. In the case of a suspected abnormality, women should be seen for a second opinion by an expert in fetal ultrasound, such as a fetal medicine specialist. From losing my dad to his battle with cancer, to then having to face another battle with cancer and my mum; thankfully she pulled though. Originally I hadn't wanted to go down that road. You have rejected additional cookies. I popped out from work, telling my boss I'd be back in half an hour. The midwife was on the verge of tears and I felt responsible. 'Soft markers'. The hardest thing I have ever done | Health | The Guardian After she had taken all the measurements, the sonographer told us that she was concerned with the length of the baby's limbs in relation to the head. Dont include personal or financial information like your National Insurance number or credit card details. Purpose of screening. However painful and traumatic the labour was, it was better than what would happen at the end of it. Some people had underestimated how serious any abnormality found at this stage could be for the baby. It is a noise that will stay with me for ever. All my plans were beginning to fall down. My heart goes out to you OP. Well, at the regional hospital it was a 3-D scan. He looked fine. Any delay in receiving more information about the abnormality and its implications will be distressing for women and this should be acknowledged.